Inner You
by N'spirit
Summary: They always felt like something was missing, but never really knowing nor understanding what it was. Living lives they feel they are expected to live. It's only when they find each other is when they find their inner self. Kagxshesso
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer I do not own Inuyasha or any of it's characters ( even though i secretly wish I did ;) ) **

**Hello eveyone so this is my first story...and I am really excited about it. I don't have much to say other then thank you to my beta reader for helping me through this process and dealing with all my text messages I love you. **

**Now without furthur adeu here is "Inner You" reveiws and comments are welcomed and encouraged. **

**Prologue**

"Why are you here Kagome?"

She gives me a confused look "I was invited."

I let my confusion show on face. _I don't remember inviting her. _ Thinking back I knew I didn't and now I don't know how to handle the situation. "You need to leave."

I can see the hurt in her eyes "Sess-Sesshomaru why do you want me to leave….we're friends, why are you acting this way"

"Sesshomaru, why is she here?" Kaugra slithers her way through the crowd and on my arm she gives me this smile that can freeze hell over. "Tell that loser to leave…she doesn't belong here." She looks at Kagome as if she was her prey and she was about to attack.

All eyes are on us now, and she is looking at me with those piercing blue watery eyes her emotions are written all across her face. I narrow my eyes at her…I won't look weak.

"Why are you standing there like a fool…LEAVE!" I'm shouting now. I'm frustrated; I don't know how to handle this situation.

"Sesshomaru, why are you saying these things?" She asks me as she takes a step towards me I can see the pain and confusion all over her face, but I am to the point where….I could care less.

"I don't want you here Kagome! Why would I invite someone like you to my party or even be around the likes of you?" She is shocked. I know she is hurting, but I have reached the point of no return. "Did you honestly think we were friends…that I cared about you?"

"B-but y-you sa-aid…"

"You actually believed me? Wow you really aren't that smart."

The crowd erupts in laughter and I have a small smile on my lips.

"You know what? You're right. What was I thinking." She says while tears are running down her face…the tears I put there. "You're right Sesshomaru. I shouldn't have come. I really don't belong here in your world. It's fake, dull and lifeless. You know it's right; what people say about you."

"What is it that people say hmm?" I ask.

"YOU REALLY ARE AN ICE PRINCE! YOU'RE SELFISH AND COLD. YOU DON'T HAVE A HEART JUST A BLOCK OF ICE WITH NO REGARD TO ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. PEOPLE WARNED ME TOO, AND OF COURSE I DIDN'T LISTEN, BUT NOW I WISH I DID….I HATE YOU…AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN." She makes a break for the door without even looking back.

I stand there in that very spot and I don't know what to do. Her words keep playing in my mind. "Don't worry about her baby." Kaugra coos as she reattaches herself to my arm.

"Leave me alone." I jerk out of her grasp and walk away from her.

"Come on people! Let's keep this party going!" Kaname shouts from next to the DJ booth. The crowd cheers as the music comes to life again, but I don't pay attention. I make my way straight to my Den. Once I am I make my way to my piano and start to play. My whole conversation with Kagome is playing in my head over and over again, _"Your selfish and cold….people warned me about you." _Am I really that terrible? I guess I am if I just treated someone like that.

Kaname walks up the piano and gives me that look that says what-the-hell? "Sessho, dude what did you do? Why would you say those things to Kagome?"

I stop playing, and I look at him but when I open my mouth nothing comes out. I don't know what to say because to be completely honest I didn't know why I said those things to her. "I don't know." "You DON'T know? Come on Sesshomaru what you did was wrong and low. I know you care about that girl. I have seen you two together and you're truly yourself when you're with her." I stand to face him, our faces narrow. "I said I don't know why I said it….I really don't….but I wish I hadn't." I whisper the last part. "Don't give me that look. I know I fucked up…what do I do?"

Kaname runs his hands through his hair and takes a deep breath. "I don't know bro, but I am going to kick this party out so we can try to figure this out okay?" I nod "Okay I will get you when it's done." "Hn" is my only reply as I stand there looking out the window at the full moon, her words playing in my head like a bad song on the radio that just keeps playing no matter how many times you change the station.

"Hey." Kaname brings me out of my thoughts. "Don't worry…we will fix this Sessho." I nod and with that he leaves out the room to deal with the people up stairs. I sigh as I make my way back to the piano and start playing another one of my favorite pieces. I stare at the moon as I am playing this melancholy music her words burning into my brain.

_"I hate you…" _


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer I do not, will not, nor will I ever own Inuyasha or it's characters :( **

**Chapter 1**

The morning sun starts to creep through my window; normally that would bother anyone, but not me. I guess you can say that I am an early riser…always have been. Besides I get my best paintings done in the morning. It is so peaceful and refreshing. I'm just putting the finishing touches on my latest painting. It's a flower field surrounded by a lush green tree line. The sky is a bright blue and if placed in the right light it almost seems like the flowers themselves seem to come alive. _"Just one more touch…and there!" _I let a sigh escape my lips as I admire my work. I have been painting for as long as I can remember it has not only been my release from the reality that is my life but it is also my way of expressing how I see the world. _"Well might as well get ready for school." _ I start to put my painting supplies away and clean up a little before I get back to the house. _"Before my dad died we turned his shed behind the house into an art studio for me to work. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a beautiful sunny day, and it also so happened to be my tenth birthday."_

**_Flashback_**

"Happy Birthday Kagome!" My family shouted at me as I made my way down the stairs rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Thanks everyone" I said with a big smile on my face as I adjusted my glasses on my face.

I made my way to the table and took a seat between my baby brother and my dad. " Look Kagome! I made your favorite chocolate chip pancakes!" My mom announced with glee as she made her way to the table and sat across from me.

Animated with excitement I thanked her, but before I could grab one my dad stopped me and said, "Nuh-uh, not yet there is something I have to show you first." He smiled at me before taking my hand and leading me towards our back door.

I looked back at my mom and she gave me a reassuring smile and waved me off. I smiled back and eagerly followed my dad outside.

"Okay sweetie, now close your eyes." I did what I was told and let him lead me to our destination.

"Can I open my eyes now daddy?" I asked when we came to a stop. He laughs "One more second just stand right there." "Okay."

"Alright, are you ready for you surprise Kagome?" he asked. "Yes! Can I pleeeeaaaase open my eyes dad?" I exclaimed as I jumped for joy. "Alright…open!" As I slowly opened my eyes I took in my surroundings and I couldn't believe what I saw.

It was my dad's old shed, but completely transformed. The room was filled with fresh art supplies, canvases, sketch books, tarps and almost every paint color imaginable. "I-Is this all for me?" Tears started to swell up in my eyes. "Yes, of course. I know that you don't have a lot of space to keep all your stuff in your room nor the space to work so your mother and I thought that this would be the perfect place for you to work in peace. Do you like it?"

"Yes! I love it! Thank you so much daddy!" I ran over and hugged him as tight as I could as he knelt down in front of me and chuckled. "You are very talented. Don't ever forget that Kagome, and no matter what anyone tells you don't be afraid to shine and live your life. You have so much to give so don't be afraid to share that with the world." He pulled me back so we could look face to face. "Don't be afraid for being different or stepping outside of the box, and remember no one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them to, okay sweetie?" He smiled at me as I nodded my head, "Yes daddy I won't ever forget. I love you." "And I love you Kaggie, so much." He kissed me on my temple. "So what do you say we go back in the house and eat some pancakes and then we can come back and set up your studio? What do you think?" "Okay I'll race you." "Okay ready set….GO!" and just like that we ran towards the house.

**_End of flashback_**

"That was when things were simpler." I was lost in my train of thought for a moment, and couldn't help but ask myself, _would he be proud of me right now?_ After I rinse off the last of my paint brushes and turn off the faucet I can't help but look at myself in the mirror. As I gaze upon my refection I can't help but let out a 'sigh'. I guess you can say I'm about as average as you can get when it comes to my physical appearance: my hair is dull and lifeless and is always in a low bun, my skin is dry, and sometimes I have to deal with occasional acne. I try to smile at myself only to have my braces make a glamorous appearance. I let out another sigh, but continue to look at myself in the mirror. For as long as I can remember I was never bothered by my looks. I was always too preoccupied with school, work, helping my mom take care of my little brother, helping Ms. Kaede, and, let's not forget, my art.

Sure, I'm not the normal seventeen year old girl that's more worried about the latest fashions than anything else, but that's okay because I'm Kagome, and that's enough. "Well I better head inside and get ready for school." I make my way out of my studio with my painting in hand. I turn around, lock the door, and make my way to the house. Now that I'm inside I have to make it up the flight of stairs and enter my family's apartment and head to my room to take a quick shower and get dressed into my school uniform.

"Kagome! Come on you're going to be late." My mother shouted from in the kitchen. "I'm coming mama!" I shouted from my room. As I grab my backpack and painting I run down the hall and kiss my mom on the cheek, run my fingers through Sota's hair, grab an apple and in a blink of an eye I was out the door. "See you later mama". "Bye sweetie!" was all I heard as I make my way down the stairs and out the two story town house.

The warm autumn air welcomes me in a full embrace every morning when I make my way to the bus stop. As I weave my way through the crowd of people I finally see my destination in sight. A smile appears on my face as I finally reach the stop, and without a moment to spare. _I think that is a new record_, a small chuckle escape my lips.

I finally get on to the bus and I'm greeted by a familiar face. "Hey Kagome!" The welcoming face smiles and waves me over. "Morning Sango!" I wave back as I make my way to the seat she saved for me. Sango is my best friend; we have been together since we were five.

"So are you ready to start our junior year of high school?" I question as I make myself comfortable in the seat.

Sango looks at me and laughs. "I guess, I mean it's just school Kagome." I sigh. "I know but…I- I guess this year just feels different, you know?" I explain with so much excitement in my voice. "If you say so Kagome." She chuckles. I just smile. "So how was your summer?" Did you do anything interesting?"

"It was good I just worked and helped mama out around the house, besides work on my paintings. What about you Sango?"

"That's great! You know me; just worked and practiced some new soccer moves. Got to stay on top of my game." We both laugh and talk as we continued our ride to school."

* * *

"Good morning everyone" Inutaisho greets his family as he enters the kitchen…well most of his family.

"Morning darling." Izayoi replies as she continues to make a cup of coffee for him.

"Good morning papa inu." "How are you feeling today Rin?" Inutaisho asks his daughter as he joins her at the table. "Good, how are you?" Inutaisho smiles. "I am well, not finish your breakfast."

Rin gives him a big smile and a quick nod and continues to enjoy her meal.

Izayoi joins them while handing Inutaisho his coffee and kisses him lightly on the cheek. They smile at each other and continue their morning routine: Inu would read the paper to see what is new in the business world, Izayoi would read the art section, and Rin would just hum. After a while Inutaisho looks up from his paper only to let out a sigh.

"Where are the boys? They are going to be late."

Izayoi shrugs, "I woke Inuyasha up this morning, but as you know waking that boy up is like trying to wake the dead, but he should be down soon." As if on cue Inuyasha comes stumbling into the kitchen. "Morning Ma, Pop. Munchkin." Yawning, he makes himself a bowl of cereal and takes a seat next to Rin.

"Morning." Everyone replies at once as he takes a seat.

"Inuyasha, do you know where your bother is?" Inutaisho asked.

"Na, haven't seen him all morning." he replied.

"He might be in the den dear, you know he doesn't eat breakfast." Izayoi suggested. "Maybe, okay I am going to go check. You two." he points to Inuyasha and Rin, "Finish up and get your books for school. We leave in 10 minutes."

Without a response Inutaisho left the kitchen to find his eldest son.

As he is making his way down the steps towards his son's den the faint sounds of piano music hang in the air. As he makes it to the door he sees that it was left ajar so he stands there as he listens to his son play on the grand piano.

* * *

This truly is how I spend every morning when I have a lot on my mind, and as of late this seems to be a common occurrence. Music is my way to release what emotion I feel at that moment; you could read me like an open book, but that is only if you truly know me, and that isn't many.

I know my father is standing there, looking at me while I play, but I'm not ready to stop just yet. My mind races a mile a minute, and from the looks of it there are no signs of letting up. _I know he is here so we can leave, but I don't want to go. If I stop playing I welcome all the unwanted attention and expectations that have fallen upon my shoulders since birth. I Sesshomaru Tashio don't want any of it. I'm sick of the way people look at me as if they know me and what I want….they're idiots. I wish for something different….for someone different. _As the song comes to an end I know that I must face the music, so as my fingers finish their final dance across the keys I put the cover back on the piano and turn to face my father.

"How long are you going to stand in the door way father?" Inutaisho isn't surprised; not many people can sneak up on his eldest son.

"Not long son." He chuckles. "I was just coming to get you so we could leave." I nod and follow my father out of the room and up the stairs. Inutaisho notices his son's distant look and wonders what the cause might be.

"Is everything alright Maru?"

_My father is a very powerful and respectable man. In the business world some would say he is a ruthless tyrant, but when with his family and close friends he is a loving father and a big jokester. It's hard standing in a shadow that is my father; maybe that's why people expect so much out of me because we look so much alike. _I let out a sigh before I answer him"Yes father, why do you ask?"

"Just wondering, can you blame a father for worrying about his son?"

"Hn."

Inutaisho sighs, "You know you can talk to me about anything right Sesshomaru?"

"Hn." I nod to my father as they make it to the front door where Inuyasha and Rin are waiting to leave.

Inutaisho shakes his head. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't break through his sons shell. "Alright everyone let's get a move on. Sesshomaru you drive you and your siblings to school. Be safe and have a good day everyone."

The drive to school is uneventful. Rin and Inuyasha are fighting about what song to listen to on the radio…ugh these are times I wish I was an only child. After dropping Rin off at school Inuyasha and I head to the campus. "Another year… Do you think there will be any new meat for the soccer team this year?" Inuyasha asks me. I shrug, "I am not sure, we will just have to wait and see." "Feh" was his reply and the rest of the ride is silent minus the music in the background, and again I fall victim to my thoughts.

_All I want is something different…._


End file.
